Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Trust, Faith and Belief

isn't it a wonder when watching TV shows or movies that you can let yourslef escape away into a world in which anything really is possible. THe person that is dying on a table can be saved in an instant , there can be love at first sight, there can be true forgivenees and love that happens over the course of seconds, minutes or days.

We sit and watch and I think the alluring thing about Television or movies for that fact is it plays into the part of our mind that is still the little child that believes that maybe just maybe there is such thing as Santa or the Easter Bunny.

I watched Grey's and House last night and was motivated by both shows for two very different reasons. I was mostly moved by House and I just love the episode where nothing much actually happened compared to the normal activities but it was right what I needed.

For those of you who didn't see the episode Cuddy wakes up in the morning to a screaming child that has a fever and she is trying to get ready for work. She has to take her daughter into the shower with her, in the bedroom with her as she gets dressed all the time looking at the clock and seeing how time is passing you by and you just wish you could do the things that you needed to do but then at the same time there is the guilty of not being able to just be with her daughter. This continues through the rest of the day. It also goes on to show the struggles that Cuddy faced in a day trying to be a mom, professional doctor, and manager with everything else she does. The moments she was on the verge of breaking down escaping to the stairwell just to try and catch a moment in the whirlwind.

It reminded me so much of my life. It was my daughter's birthday party this weekend. She spent Thursday and Friday at my parents house (at their request) and I spent all of Saturday getting ready for her party at my parents house. Once that was done it was time to come home and go to bed for her. For me it was time to work and get other things done. Sunday it was time to go to work. Thankfully C really enjoys coming to my work where she can set up a fort, play and watch movies. Although, given that we were here for 10 hours it did become difficult because at some points she was saying "mom I just want to play" which is okay but you know that she really means that "mom I want to play with you"

The moments where you don't know what you are doing, where your not sure if you are doing the right thing, the points at which you just want to quit go home and give up - those moments of life are becoming much more prelevant and confusing moving through the year it is difficult to question yourself are you doing the right thing? did you make the right decision? there is no way of knowing but thankfully along the way there are great and fabulous people that show you that they have faith in you and believe that you can accomplish what you have set out to do. You wait for those moments inbetween the branches, leaves and trees to see the light only to get too destracted by the light at some points to get tied up in the dead and dying parts of the forest. The strenght, and courage to keep moving forward is hard to find at times.

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