Life

By Mother Teresa

Life is an opportunity, benefit from it.

Life is beauty, admire it.

Life is bliss, taste it.

Life is a dream, realize it.

Life is a challenge, meet it.

Life is a duty, complete it.

Life is a game, play it.

Life is costly, care for it.

Life is wealth, keep it.

Life is love, enjoy it.

Life is mystery, know it.

Life is a promise, fulfill it.

Life is sorrow, overcome it.

Life is a song, sing it.

Life is a struggle, accept it.

Life is tragedy, confront it.

Life is an adventure, dare it.

Life is luck, make it.

Life is too precious, do not destroy it.

Life is life, fight for it.

Varadero Sunset

Taken with the G10 in manual mode.

Havana

So I am now back from the trip to Cuba... To say that the trip wasn't fun isn't accurate I had some pretty amazing times while away. However, with that being said I can definitely say that I could use another vacation.

As you may know the purpose of the trip was a retirement present for my mother-in-law. The trip has been in the works for nearly two years and we have taken two other trips (one to Mexico and one to Punta Cana) to ensure that the decision to head to Varadero was the best one. The entire reason we decided on Cuba is because my father-in-law does not like beaches or sun. If you have ever heard me talk about previous trips, you would know that sand is the necessary evil between concrete and ocean. So Varadero was chosen for the proximity to Havana and the possibility of taking a day trip to visit the historical city.

Now I will post a full review later of the hotel and airline. But I want want to say this - the private tour into Havana opened my eyes to a reality that I hadn't seen before. Also the staff at the Blau Varadero were beyond amazing and the staff for Sunwing were fantastic!

Reality Check

Well it has been just over two weeks since my last post and I need a reality check.

I am now down to 226 lbs and I am hating the 220's! After the Black Friday weekend I got down to 227 (mostly because of sickness induced lack of eating) and then quickly went back up. My body has a hard time with lack of food and then eating again.

Well I've been blah about my weight loss because I have just a short 3 weeks or 21 days until the trip to Cuba. The entire time I have had a goal of 210 before getting to Cuba and now it really seems like I will not make it to that weight and I am frustrated.

The worst part is I often feel like I have made no progress at all - which is an utterly STUPID thought considering that I have lost 32.8 lbs since September (so 16 weeks...) how on earth can ANYONE think that loosing on average 2 lbs a week is bad?!?! seriously.

Well in part the frustration comes in because I have hovered around the same weight for the last two weeks (or so it has felt) and it doesn't seem like my clothes are fitting any different.

Silly silly thoughts I know and they were made worse this weekend with a trip to the swim suit store to pick up something for Cadence. I looked at the suites and thought there is no way I can fit anything other than the ugly "fat" ones and here I have done all of this work to get no where.

Then there was the thoughts of still not being able to shop in any regular stores and having to visit plus size stores. I sat and thought about just saying screw it all and then going to get some Popcorn and pretzel. Then something stopped me and I thought about all of the hard work, the 1.5-2 hours a day I spend at the gym away from my home, my daughter trying to get the weight off and I do NOT want to go back I do NOT want to have to go through this again. The momentary up or fuzzy feeling I would get from the food would be far far out weighed by the guilt of eating the food, by the icky way it would make me feel and most importantly by the time I would have to spend at the gym making up for giving into the temptation.

I sat and contemplated this for a few minutes. My real fear was walking into a store that carries clothes from 0-18 and then looking at me and saying "your too fat to be here loser". I then made the decision that I have let fear rule enough of my life and my decisions and that I will never be able to do the thing that I think I can't do otherwise ANYTHING is possible.

So I went into the store, grabbed two pair of pants and a shirt and headed to the change room as quick as possible and tried not to be noticed.

I went into the room and start thinking of all of the excuses about not wanting to try anything else on as I got undressed and started to put the clothes on.... and guess what?!? The size 18 was LOOSE not falling off but loose. I could have cried. I came out and talked with the associate and finally had the courage to just say what was happening. I explained that I have lost 30+ lbs and I didn't know what size I was and I need help finding clothes.

So they brought me a size 16 skirt suite and I tried it on and it fit wonderfully - ever so tight around my tummy but it FIT.

It was one of the best moments I've had so far.

I know that I will not likely hit my goal of 210lbs for Cuba but I am ok with that - it was a lofty goal to start with and I am proud of my success and I am not going to let the fact that I will fall slightly short deter me from continuing.

I have a new goal - my 30th Birthday is coming up at the end of June - I have 27 weeks and my goal is to be at 170 lbs by then.

In order to achieve the goal I would need to loose 56 lbs from today or just over 2 lbs a week consistently until then.

I don't honestly know when I was last 170 lbs. Unfortunately, I ignored my weight once I started to gain. When I graduated from high school I was 155 lbs and the next weight I knew was 235lbs I don't remember any other point along the way.

So right now I am looking forward to one number 200 LBS and no longer being above that number.

Progress Report

Well it certainly has been a while since I posted and here is where things are at....




In September when I started my journey I weighed 258.8 lbs wow that's a really really hard number to write down - so very very embarrassing especially considering that almost 5 years ago I lost 30 lbs (granted I've since had a baby and everything else...)

This is a picture that was taken in June of this year. I absolutely HATE this picture and my mom even had it published in the local news paper (thanks mom)




Well here is a recent picture (e.g., just taken - long day in the office...) can you see the difference? :) As I've posted before I have started hitting the gym on a regular basis (basically 6 days a week). However, November has been a crazy month - between my annual girl's fondue weekend, black friday shopping weekend (with all of the food that goes along with a long-weekend trip)

I was very concerned for many reasons. First, the annual girls fondue party involves wine and lots of it accompanied by a massive spread - cheese fondue with bread and veggies, followed by hot rocks and oil fondue for cooking meat and veggies (and on the hot rocks you basically are cooking the meat in butter... oh soooo tasty) and then finally chocolate fondue with fruit for dipping (or in some cases dipping Lindt chocolate balls....no I did not partake in that one this year I was already too full) well can you imagine that this does not fit well in my meal plans and on top of that I had planned to spend an extra four hours in the gym to make up for the sheer volume of food... key word "planned" I ended up being too busy with house cleaning and preparations to get there.

I want to take a brief second to give a shout out to my WONDERFUL mom who came over to help me clean the house and then took ALL and I mean 14 loads ALL of my laundry home with her to wash, dry, iron, fold/hang up and delivered it back the next day. Now who seriously has the BEST MOM in the world :D thanks mom and the best part is she loves it and has come to understand my world is crazy and house cleaning is not near the top of my list these days.

Anyways - the weekend after the fondue weekend was Black Friday weekend - which usually involves all you can eat buffets, lots of bad food at all times of the day. Well this year on the advice of a friend I found out that my YMCA membership is also good in the US and my hotel was 5 seconds from one of the local Y's.

I had planned on working out on my regular routine. However, after the first night our weekend went into chaos - little C got sick and then I got the stomach flu (not pretty or fun). When we finally made it home I was still not feeling well - and did not eat for two full days and then barely ate for the rest of the week. I made the decision that while going to the gym was not in my best interests (I was afraid that working out and stressing the body while having little if any food could trigger "starvation mode" and create set backs). So I waited until I could eat on a normal basis again and then on Saturday and Sunday I hit the gym again.

I would also note at this time that after the fondue weekend I basically stopped using LoseIt to track my food and the last time this happened I had a major slip and started gained back more weight than I had lost using the program. I was very very concerned about this and the not going to the gym but I was determined not to let this set me back.

Regardless of how much weight I've lost so far (which by the way is about 30 lbs :) ) I think I have reached a very important point in my journey. I didn't let the fact that life got a bit out of the ordinary mess me up. I was cautious about my activities and eating habits while not using my tracking system and not going to the gym. More importantly I think - I started right back on track as soon as possible.

I also shared with my close friends about my journey where I had been and where I wanted to go and I've asked for their help. Honestly, when I started gaining weight out of high school I didn't really realize it and I have no idea how I got to where I am today (well I know but I didn't see it as I went) and I asked each of them to promise me to speak up and say something anything to keep me from going back.

Those old habits are dead and gone and can honestly say after overcoming these last two weeks that I have a new lifestyle and that I am confident that I can keep these changes around.


Next goal - 20 lbs in the next 6 weeks - I know it will be really really hard and I am not sure I can accomplish it. But I am ok if I don't :)

Boo at the Zoo

iPhone4 picture

A mini me

Well this is just a recent picture of little C from the other morning.

Children are such a reflection of what you do and who you are. Here she is on the phone in the morning on our way to work.

This has had me thinking more and more about my weight loss journey. She is going to look to me for my habits and behaviors. This had made the whole process even more important she needs to learns about the need to eat health and the importance of exercise. However she cant just be taught she needs to be shown the what a healthy life is.