Getting back into the grove

So it's been just over a year in the new job - well I guess one year two weeks and time has flown by.

The past year has brought me many struggles on a number of fronts but a couple of months ago I saw a light and started to change directions. Trying to find a balance between all or nothing in all areas of my life.  I have gotten back to a really good work schedule - minimal over time compared to too much over time.  I have come back to cooking and not every night but a lot of nights - cooking from scratch a lot of the time too. I have started seeing a nutritionist and she is wonderful. I have started back to my home gym not on a routine basis.

Here are the things I have learned and somethings I still need to work on

• As much as I LOVE to cook I have to learn that it is alright to make Mac and Cheese no one will judge me for making a box of KD - only I will. It sounds silly but since I started this journey one of the most difficult challenges has been accepting that it is ok to not be a rock star chef every night of the week - some nights it is about basic survival and making sure there is supper on the table. I still struggle with this one. 
• Balance at work. I think I've got this one coming closer. This long weekend I had to take some time and go into the office to catch up on work. That being said I committed at the outset that at least one day I would do no work and I would sleep in. Well that's today. I slept to noon, got up watch some Top Chef Canada, made giant apple pancakes for "breakfast" (4:00 pm) and I'm about to make two cakes. But I am taking some time off in the summer to compensate. The monkey is most important  - spending the time I have with her and teaching her is the most important thing.
• Nothing I accomplish in my life will matter if I mess up raising my children
• Balance working out.  5 years ago I weighed ... a lot less than I do now and it is daunting to think about it because I know how much work it took me to get down to that weight and I wasn't done. I let a lot of "things" unnecessary things get in my way of continuing with my success. I also didn't go about it the right way. I kept detail logs of everything - how much I ate, measuring everything - how much I exercised.  It was not sustainable. Plus I find that hard to balance now with my love of cooking all things bad for you. I need to get back to a balance - and I'm getting there the days I have run or walked before work I feel so much better. I just need to remember that feeling.

I'm back though - maybe not as much here and I'll try to be here but balance is hard. 

But I something came up on my memories on Facebook and it reminded me just how far I have come. 

 This picture is from 2014. I was so proud that I had made burritos at home. As you can see I had made the meat and the rice - everything else was store bought and prepared - salsa, guacamole, beans etc.

The picture on the right is from Mother's day 2017.  I asked for a day where I could cook with my daughter and the husband would clean.

Everything on the right is home made:

- marinated flank steak

- corn tortilla's

- warm grilled corn with lime dressing

- guacamole

- salsa

- refried beans 

- pickled red onions 

the only thing store bought was the sour cream and cheese. 

This is a reminder of how far I have come and how far I have yet to go!

New year new me? resolutions?

Gee I look back at the start of last year and I was motivated - motivated to explore my love of cooking and baking - motivated to try out for MasterChef Canada and then what happened?

It is hard - I hate new year resolutions and I hate the phrase "it's a new year, be the new you" or the sentiments along those lines.  I don't want to me a 'new' me I want to just be me.  However, the new year is a good time to slow down, relax, look at life and contemplate where you were, where you are and where you want to be.

For me the last year has brought about one seemingly minor but significant change that has affected my whole life. I started a new job in roughly 9 months ago. The job is on paper a better job overall than my last.  It is less money right now than what I was originally making (not by much and not that I'm complaining), but with the type of job it is - I get a pension, benefits, sick days, vacation days, paid overtime and a lot more job security.

Honestly, I was a bit shocked at fist with the job and the hours it demanded - but frankly the work was worth it.  I was willing to put in major overtime to achieve a number of goals that I had when I took over the department. Unfortunately, I knew that meant some sacrifices around home, like time with my daughter, less time for cooking, less time for the husband...I was willing to work with the team I had and the hours for a period of time and we had a goal but then things got flipped on their head and ... well the overtime got to stop for a few months (seems like a good thing right? well no) because it has lead to the craziest few months of my life.

In the last two months I have had to make up for that pause. I have picked my daughter up from school twice or maybe three times. I hardly take her to her activities (thankfully I have supportive parents who pick her up and help with weekday activities). I hardly have time to spend with my husband. I don't have the time or frankly the energy to cook. Normally, I look forward to Christmas as a time to plan a 10 course meal for the family, but this year I was thankful to sleep in, watch TV and cook a turkey from a box :).  I think I spend more time in my office than I do at home (basically in 6 months I have worked 200+ hours of overtime that has been recorded - this does not include time I put in away from the office).

I think for a period of almost 8-weeks I didn't cook more than a handful of times and those times that I did cook it was not my "normal" cooking - it was boxed - or prepackaged food which is very sad for me.


When I look at this I find it very hard because four years ago I was in a similar situation but I hated my life, I hated everything in it, I wasn't in a happy marriage, I was in a career that was sucking the life out of me, there was nothing that made my happy (other than the gym and my daughter).  The difference now - I'm in a fairly happy marriage (man of my dreams - love him to pieces - but we don't get enough us time together. We need more of that!), I love my job (don't love the hours), I love my daughter, I am happy with my house, I need to get back to the gym. So I guess it's not that similar - the only thing that is similar is the lack of balance (I've never been great at balancing aspects of life at the same time).  So looking forward to the new year what does it hold for me and the family?

Well another two months of craziness - I can't avoid that at work unfortunately but I'm trying to find ways to manage and work with that and set some more boundaries.  In the next coming months I need to continue cooking - I'm keeping with my goal of 365 new recipes and 52 new techniques (but I'm not limiting myself on the time in which I have to achieve that). I am also going to lay off the pressure and recognize that if I want to make spaghetti and meatballs that maybe it can come pre-made in most of it's form I don't need to do everything from scratch - this way I keep cooking and trying new things but without the hours and pressure after long days at work.  More time focusing on my daughter and spending time with her - god is she ever amazing. More time with the husband - he is a great guy, truly supportive of me and my goals and I miss him lots. Finally, the gym - i need it. cooking makes me happy and feel warm but it doesn't relieve stress like the gym did.

So happy new year and happy reflecting.

I'm coming back!

It has been a while since I've been here and honestly finishing my goal at this point by the end of the year may be a struggle but I'm going to cut myself a little break and may extend my deadline past the end of the year and heck maybe I won't even enforce a deadline and just keep with working on the goal of 365 new dishes/things and 52 different techniques.

 

It is funny because I'm not sure if the 52 different techniques have to be "new" of just different ones because on a regular basis I have used the following:

• slow cooking (my gosh how I would survive without slow cooking sometimes is beyond me);
• breading (I'm married to an English man and I now spoil him and his parents when they are here with home made fish and chips);
• Marinating;
• Pickling (eggs, and now I have added turnips, rutabaga and onions to the list);
• stews; and,
• Barbequing.

 Although my BBQ could use some work (not that I'm bad at BBQing - you HAVE to try my juicy lucy burgers anything stuffed with cheese is a winner and adding my BBQ Bacon that is candied in Bourbon and Maple Syrup is amazing).

But to affirm that I have been baking and cooking here is a list of things I've done in the last few weeks that I will need to blog and catch up on:

• Blueberry pie (my first ever thank you very much!);
• My B52 chocolate cake and Tequila Lime Coconut Cake;
• Ricotta cheese (for filling Egg Yolk Ravioli again);
• Scotch Eggs;
• Bacon Jam;
• Apple tartlets (using my leftovers);
• Apple Pie (not the first time I've made it but I used a crumble topping instead of pie dough because I was using my leftovers);
• Roasted Curry Carrot soup (my own invention no recipe - and it was very good);
• Pickled turnips, rutabaga and onions;
• Two different kinds of éclairs - requiring for different recipes
• Pumpkin Spice Pastry Cream Filled
• White chocolate mouse filled
• both topped with a chocolate ganache

Those are the kind of new things I've been doing in addition to making home made doughnuts and pumpkin pies to spoil the people I work with (you can always win people over with food!)


I'm going to have to rethink my game plan for some of the food unfortunately as husband was just diagnosed with Diabetes and it's been a long week already with adjusting the changes we have to make so we will see.  My co-workers have already volunteered to be victims... I mean testers of my baking and the wonderful staff at my daughter's school have also put themselves on the line to test anything I come up with.


I think this weekend I might try out Tiramisu including making the lady fingers at home!


I promise to be here more often.


The other big exciting news is a trip that we are planning to New Olreans!  I'm so excited about the food adventures I get to go on between here and New Orleans and then just in New Orleans itself - like over the moon - more on that later! Now time to find lunch.

Why I've been missing :(

So it has been a long while since I have posted anything. I am beyond frustrated and upset right now. Last year at this time I was trying to get together my audition tape for MCC but my house conspired against me. 

This year I was and am determined but when I started my new job in May I knew I would have to take a step back from my cooking and adjust to the new amazing job. Right after starting we had a terrible thing happen - the smell of gas filled our house. The gas company gave us good and bad news - it wasn't gas 👍 but it was CO2 being forced back into the house. We believe it's a result of damage done to our house by the demolition of the house next to us (it was at best 2 feet away from ours). The gas was shut off to the house. Then started the long process of figuring out what to do next. 

The end result is we are having to replace our NEW hot water tank, the air conditioner and furnace. The chimney is the problem - it is used by all of these but fixing it is really just for the hot water tank as any new furnace would be side vented. We ended up having to call our insurance company and are hoping they will help. If they won't it's about $10,000 to get everything fixed. 

The biggest problem is the lack of hot water - we have had no hot water for almost 6 weeks now. We are camping style in the house for washing dishes, cold washing clothes and running to my parents to shower which is very stressful but it also means I have to basically stop my culinary adventures (it takes 40 min approx to boil the one large canning pot of water - and we need at least 2 for cooking *sigh*). So I still have my goal it just means I am going to have to double down on my cooking when I can get back to adventures. 

Tonight is the first time in a while that I'm cooking from scratch again- it feels good and I really miss it.

Spiced Potato Tikki

Now these Potato Tikki are hands down amazing and absolutely delicious!  They are fairly easy to make - there were a few things in making the tikki that I wished I would have known before hand. Specifically after making the making the balls and flatting out the Tikki it says to dip them into flour lightly.  I did that right away and then kind of stacked them.  Unfortunately, because of the moisture of the mixture the flour absorbed right away into the mixture and then the patties started to stick together.  Next time I would have a flour and frying station type thing set up. I would have made the balls all at the same time then get the oil up to heat. Once the oil is up to temperature I would then flatten and flour right before placing them into the oil.

They are something else and a real treat!  I served with the Date and Tamarind Chutney.  This could very well be the best thing I made from the cook book and will be a definite staple in the house for the future!  

Spiced Potato Titkki
1 lbs potatoes (yukon gold, all-purpose)
2-inch piece of ginger, peeled and roughly chopped
1 fresh green chili, roughly chopped
Salt
2 tbsp canola oil (plus extra for frying)
1 tsp cumin seeds
1 large red onion, finely chopped
1/2 tsp chili powder
1 tsp garam masala
2 tbsp all-purpose flour (plus extra for coating the tikkis)
1/2 cup peas (fresh or frozen)
Juice of 1/2 lemon
3 tbsp chopped cilantro

1. Peel the potatoes and cut them into equal chances. Place in a pan with a lid, cover with cold water, put the lid on, and bring them to a boil, then reduce to a simmer. When tender, drain them and mash with a potato masher. Put them to one side.
2. Using a mortar an pestle, bash the ginger and the green chili along with a pinch of salt into a coarse paste and put to one side.
3. Put oil into a large frying pan on a medium head and, when it's hot, add the cumin seeds and the chopped onion. Fry for 6 to 8 minutes, then add the ginger and chili paste, a teaspoon of salt the chili powder, and the garam masala, and stir-fry for a couple of minutes. 
4. Next add the mashed potato and flour, stir to mix, then add the peas, lemon juice, and cilantro. Mix thoroughly and cook for a further 2 to 3 minutes or until the peas are tender. Take off the heat and put to one side until cool enough to handle. 
5. Preprare a bowl of flour to coat the tikkis with. When the mixture has cooled, take a bit of it and roll it into a golf ball shape. Flatten it out to make a patty and dip it into the flour to lightly coat. To check for seasoning, heat a teaspoon of oil in a frying pan, and add, when it's hot, fry the tick for 3 minutes on each side or until brown and crispy. Remove with a slotted spoon. Adjust the seasoning as necessary, then make up the rest of the patties. Fry them in batches (around 6 at a time), so as not to overcrowd the pan. To keep the fried ones warm you can put them in the oven on a low heat until they are ready to be served. 

Inspiration and living life

Here are some of my favourite sayings:

"Friendship isn't about who you've known the longest. Its about who walked into your life, said 'I'm here for you' and proved it."

"Eat a live frog every morning, and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day."

"A healthy relationship will never required to you sacrifice your friends, your dreams, or your dignity" (unless its in the name of being silly and having fun!)

"Take a chance because you'll never know how absolutely perfect something could turn out to be."

"What do I fear? I fear stagnation and lack of progress. I fear never reaching my potential and being average. I fear being forgotten...The past...Yesterday's news. I fear giving up and being passed by, going softly into that good night. I fear letting those I love down,letting myself down. I fear settling, giving in to the "that's just the way it is" mindset. I fear dying without leaving my mark. I fear not feeling these fears anymore and just floating along. These fears feed me, they nourish my drive. I love my fear."

"Life isn't meant to be easy, it's meant to be LIVED. Sometimes happy, other times rough.. But with every up and down you learn lessons that make you STRONG."

I have written about my life before and the things that have brought me to where I am today.  I have a tattoo on my back that says "Yesterday is a history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift" to try and remind myself to live every day, to challenge myself, to grow.

Today I took the opportunity to seize the day and enjoy life and I did it in the simplest way possible.  I went for a lunch hour walk with my best friend and when we came across a play ground we took advantage and swung on the swings for a while!  Enjoy life, take every opportunity that life presents to you!

Roasted Butternut Squash and Tomato Curry

Top Left - Roasted Butternut Squash and Tomato Curry
Top Right - Chicken Tikka
Bottom - Spiced Potato Tikki and Date and Tamarind Chutney

Now I will say at the outset - the husband HATES like really HATES squash in almost every single form known to man, to clarify further when I say almost every single form I limit myself only because I haven't asked him about every variety yet - but butternut squash, acorn squash, spaghetti squash, zucchini, baby squash - I have canvased with him.  He doesn't mind butternut squash soup but that is about where the tolerance limit is at.

So needless to say when I saw this recipe I thought I had a good chance of pulling out a winner because it was a curry dish and he loves almost all things curry (being that he is English and all) and I like butternut squash.

Now I would love to tell you that like every other recipe I have tried from "Made in India" it did not disappoint but sadly and very reluctantly I must say I hated the dish just about as much as a monkey and a husband.

We each suffered through a littler portion of a it and then quit suffering.  I'm not sure what made me dislike the dish so much but I have to say I wasn't a huge fan.  I was originally hoping that in roasting the squash it would become a littler tougher but it really didn't and I cooked it longer than the recipe called for trying to get a little bit of a different texture.

The dish was served with Garlic Ritta which helped a bit.  But overall I didn't like the sweetness of the squash for the dish especially with the texture of the squash.

Roasted Butternut Squash Curry with Garlic and Tomatoes

1 large butternut squash (around 2 1/4 lbs) unpeeled, halved, seeded and cut into 3/4" think lives
4 tbsp canola oil
Salt
Ground black pepper
1 1/4" piece of ginger, peeled and roughly chopped
4 cloves of garlic, roughly chopped
1 fresh green chile, roughly chopped
1 large onion, finely diced
14-ounce can of god quality plum tomatoes
1/2 tsp sugar
1 1/2 tsp ground coriander
1 1/2 tsp ground cumin

1. Preheat the oven to 400F and line two roasting trays with foil.
2. Throw the squash pieces onto both roasting trays. Tricked over 2 to 3 tablespoons of oil and seasons generously with salt and black pepper. Toss together and bake for 30 minutes, or until they are soft and browning, turning halfway through.
3. Meanwhile, put the ginger, garlic, green chili, and a pinch o fast into a mortar and pestle and bash to a smooth paste. Set aside.
4. Put 1 tablespoon of oil into a frying pan on a medium heat. When it's hot fry the onion for 8 to 10 minutes, until golden, and add the ginger, garlic, and chili paste. Cook for around 2 to 3 minutes, then tip in the can of tomatoes, breaking them up with a wooden spoon.
5. Cook for around 12 minutes, stirring occasionally, until the sauce is rich and thick. Add the sugar, coriander, cumin, 1/2 tsp of black pepper, and season with salt. Leave to cook for another 5 minutes, adding a little bit of water to get a good saucy consistency. Take the butternut squash out of the oven when ready and fold into the sauce. Serve with the golden garlic raita and some fresh naan.